I’m standing in line behind this guy at the convenience store, and he’s on the phone with his wife, going on about their (I'm guessing young adult-ish) daughter taking her car to the mechanic. He’s adamant about going with her because, as he says, “I know how they are with girls.” He’s seen it, lived it—he knows exactly how his daughter will be upsold on junk she doesn't need, and it’s clear he’s coming from a place of lived experience. After he hangs up, I can’t help myself and say, “Too bad the mechanic isn’t a feminist.”

His reaction is priceless—he turns around and looks at me like I’ve just summoned a demon. It’s like feminist is the dirtiest word I could’ve used. And that made me stop and think: why is “feminist” such a dirty word for some people? Here’s a guy who clearly knows sexism is real—he’s practically spelling it out—and yet the very idea of feminism feels like an insult to him. It’s these everyday moments that I find fascinating, especially working with people every day on how gendered experiences shape behavior, thoughts, and feelings. People can recognize the problem, but still flinch at the solution.

Alright, let's get something straight from the jump: "feminist" is not a dirty word. It's not a curse your grandma accidentally shouts at Thanksgiving, and it's not some radical, fringe group out to destroy all things manly (don't worry, your beard and power tools are safe). Being a feminist just means believing in equal rights (which is different than equitable, but that's a topic for another day) — no more, no less. I know, I know, it sounds so scandalous, right?

But somehow, the word "feminist" has gotten a bad rap, as if it's a secret society of bra-burning, man-hating vigilantes who are coming to revoke your grill master card. Here comes the bubble burst: it's not. So, let's break it down, debunk the myths, and figure out why men — yes, men, especially those with daughters — should proudly wear the "feminist" badge. Bonus: no scary initiation rituals required.

Myth #1: Feminists Hate Men

Let's start with the big one. The ol' "feminists hate men" myth. No, feminists don't hate men. They just hate sexism, which is a completely different thing. It's like saying you hate someone because they're wearing cowboy boots with basketball shorts (I'm calling out two of my kids). You don't hate the person, you just strongly disapprove of their unfortunate choice.

The goal of feminism isn't to take anything away from men. We're not trying to snatch away your rights like the last donut in the break room. Feminism is about making sure women get the same opportunities, respect, and rights that men have always had. It's kind of like inviting more people to a party — it makes things better, not worse (unless you're a 16-year-old and your parents are out of town).

Myth #2: Feminists Burn Bras and Never Shave

This one? It's the kind of outdated stereotype that just makes you want to facepalm (even though my legs haven’t seen a real razor in over ten years). Look, whether or not someone burns a bra or shaves their legs has nothing to do with their feminist status. You can rock a bra or go full free-the-nip — it's totally up to you. Feminism is all about choice. Want to shave? Cool. Don't want to shave? Still cool. As long as you're comfortable in your skin, you do you.

Myth #3: Feminists Think Women Are Better Than Men

Nope. This isn't a competition, fellas. Feminism isn't about "one-upmanship", it's about equality. If you're imagining some kind of dystopian future where women rule the world and men are relegated to fetching snacks and massaging tired feet… sorry, that's not the plan (but thanks for offering to grab snacks!). Feminism is about women having the same chances to lead, work, and live with equal access to opportunities as men. It's not about reversing the roles; it's about leveling the playing field (we'll talk about systemic power imbalances another time).

What Feminism Actually Means

Now that we've put those pesky myths to bed, let's talk about what feminism actually is. Simply put, feminism is the belief in social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. That's it. It's not a club where you have to swear an oath to never laugh at a dad joke again (those are still funny), and it's not a secret agenda to make every action movie a rom-com. It's just about making sure that everyone — regardless of gender — has the same shot at success, happiness, and not being talked over in meetings.

Men Can Be Feminists Too (Yes, Really!)

I will tell you a secret: men can be feminists, too. In fact, some of the best feminists I know are men. And no, they're not walking around in feminist t-shirts or giving speeches about women's suffrage — they're just decent human beings who believe in AND actively practice fairness (and check their biases). Groundbreaking, right?

Here's the deal: feminism isn't a "women-only" movement. It's about equality (or equity, depending on the situation), which benefits everyone, including men. Think about it — if women have equal pay, equal opportunities, and an equal voice, that's a better world for everyone. It's a world where your daughter can grow up knowing she can be anything she wants, from an astronaut to a CEO to the next Beyoncé … and yes, even a stay-at-home mom!

And let's be real: if you've got daughters, you want them to have every opportunity to thrive. Being a feminist doesn't make you any less of a man. In fact, it makes you the kind of man secure enough to stand up for what's right. A man who isn't threatened by strong women but cheers them on. That's the kind of man daughters need as role models.

Dads, This One's For You

If you're a dad, especially to daughters, this is where I hit you in the feels. Picture this: your little girl, the apple of your eye, grows up, enters the workplace, and suddenly realizes that she's being paid less than her male colleagues for the same work. Or maybe she's constantly interrupted in meetings, or worse, passed over for promotions because of her gender. As her dad, do you shrug and say, "Well, that's just how it is?" No! You'll want to flip a table on her behalf!

Now imagine that you, as a feminist dad, have spent her entire life showing her that she deserves equality. You've taught her that her voice matters, that she's capable of achieving anything, and that respect isn't optional — it's required. When she enters the world, she'll expect equality, demand it, and fight for it. And she'll have you to thank.

Feminism Isn't Scary, It's Sensible

At the end of the day, being a feminist doesn't mean you have to renounce all things macho. You can still watch football, grow a beard, and own an impressive tool collection. Feminism doesn't care about that. It's simply about treating people fairly, respecting women's rights, and acknowledging that gender shouldn't determine your worth.

Next time someone tosses around the word "feminist" like it's an insult, just smile and own it. Standing up for equality isn't embarrassing—it's a flex. So, when you see a car with a "FEMINIST" sticker on the back window in Waco (it could be mine), maybe skip the middle finger (looking at you, guy in the white F150) and thank her for trying to make the world a better place for your little girl.

About the author

Chelsea Jackson Garcia is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in Texas and an NBCC National Certified Counselor. She owns SHAW Psychotherapy, an inclusive private practice in Waco, TX, specializing in adolescents and women.

Disclaimer: The information presented and contained is for entertainment value only (Just remember, laughter is great, but therapy is even better) and should not be construed as mental health service or medical care.