Let’s talk about women’s sexuality and low libido. Yes, THAT conversation—the one that makes everyone shift uncomfortably in their seats but really needs to happen. Because let’s face it, ladies: balancing work, life, family, and that ever-present mental checklist doesn’t exactly put anyone in the mood. Turns out, mental exhaustion isn't exactly sexy. Who knew?

The Mental Load: Or, Why Women Secretly Run the Universe

First off, let’s discuss the mental load. You know, the invisible list running through your brain on a constant loop like some twisted game of "Memory"—except you’re the only player, and there’s no prize at the end. It’s the mental gymnastics of remembering everything: dentist appointments, grocery lists, upcoming work deadlines, family birthdays (while your partner is over there like, “Wait, our kid’s turning six?!”).

And guess what? Being the CEO of Everyone’s Life leaves very little room for sexual fireworks. Shocking, right?

Libido vs. The To-Do List: Guess Who Wins?

Now, about that libido. Remember when it used to just, you know, exist? Back when "getting in the mood" didn’t involve an internal debate about whether to fold the laundry first? Yeah, me neither. These days, libido gets steamrolled by stress and exhaustion like a cute little animal crossing the road in a Stephen King horror flick.

Why? Because mental workload is the biggest mood killer you never saw coming. Here’s a little breakdown of why that happens:

1. Chronic Stress: The Anti-Aphrodisiac 

   Stress is like the villain in a bad rom-com—you can’t avoid it, and it won’t leave you alone. When your brain’s stuck on overdrive, your body’s like, "Oh, we’re supposed to be interested in that? Sorry, not today. Or tomorrow. Maybe next month.”

2. Emotional Exhaustion: Why We Can’t Even Anymore 

   Between solving world problems (aka, "Why isn’t the dishwasher working?") and making sure everyone’s feelings are okay, emotional energy gets drained faster than your phone battery during a TikTok binge. And guess what? If you’re emotionally drained, your libido takes a nap. And by “nap,” I mean it vanishes like a magician’s rabbit.

3. Perfectionism: The Sexy Killer 

   Let’s be real: we’ve all been guilty of trying to “do it all”—career superstar, Pinterest mom, and, oh yeah, sensual goddess in the bedroom. Spoiler alert: perfectionism is a cruel joke. It’s like trying to juggle flaming swords while baking a soufflé. One wrong move, and it all crashes. And instead of steamy nights, you end up with a steamy pile of frustration.

The Libido Reset Button: Still Missing, FYI

So, how do we fix this? Well, if there were a magical libido reset button, I’d be the first to sell it on Etsy. But in reality, the answer is a little more complicated. It starts with—brace yourself—*self-care*. (Yes, I see you rolling your eyes.)

Now, before you throw a pillow at me, hear me out. Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate bubble baths with rose petals (though no one’s stopping you). It can be as simple as reclaiming some mental space—like, maybe stop worrying about how the towels are folded. Spoiler alert: nobody cares. Seriously.

Bringing the Sexy Back (In Between Chores, Of Course)

Now, if you’re thinking, "Great, but I still don’t feel like it," that’s okay. Rebuilding your libido takes time—just like convincing your partner to do the dishes. Try cutting down on some of that mental workload. Delegate. Let go of some non-essential tasks. It’s okay if the world doesn’t run perfectly for one night. In fact, maybe that’s the key to getting your groove back.

So, next time you’re feeling overwhelmed by your mental to-do list, remember: you don’t need to be Wonder Woman 24/7. Give yourself permission to take a break. Because let’s be real—laundry can wait, but your sanity and sex? That’s worth saving.

About the author

Chelsea Jackson Garcia is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in Texas and an NBCC National Certified Counselor. She owns SHAW Psychotherapy, an inclusive private practice in Waco, TX, specializing in adolescents and women.

Disclaimer: The information presented and contained is for entertainment value only (Just remember, laughter is great, but therapy is even better) and should not be construed as mental health service or medical care.